This post is brought to you by, having a think in the bath over a chat with a friend.

Dear Parts, thank you all for being here today.

Dear Grey, don’t worry, you can stay
Dear Teeth, thank you all for staying, despite my misspent youth neglecting your care. I’m sorry but I’ve made the conscious decision to never whiten you guys. I don’t think societal obsession with signaling youth is worth the increased sensitivity because I enjoy eating pain-free a lot more than I enjoy projecting the image of youthfulness. Also sorry I don’t floss as much as I told the hygienist I did.
Dear Feet, thank you for holding me up despite my gross inattention insisting that you are adequately washed by my doing the shuffle in the shower and criminally under moisturizing youse
Which brings us to: Dear Callous, thank you for over-engineering the protection of my feetses (seriously, growing an armor of hardened flesh? that’s metal af)
Dear Hair Here, chill, hang out, whatever; ya don’t bother me and I won’t bother ya
Same for you, Hair Over Here
Dear Muscles, thank you for being strong and carrying all our weight
Dear Soft Bits, I guess thank you for being here too as I’ve never succeeded in evicting you all once you moved in
Dear Scars, sorry I am clumsy and move inexplicably fast and slow at the same time. Thank you for forming over my very vulnerable insides so germs can’t get in and blood doesn’t get out.

Dear Body, thank you for being here and being healthy. I didn’t have to buy you and I don’t have to buy you any upgrades. I pay you nothing and you show up everyday to do the work, around the clock. You are a triumph of engineering. I love you. Now let’s go enjoy some apple galette made by the one Dear Brain was smart enough to marry!

Dear Body